Keys, Bells, and Cat

Keys, Bells, and Cat blog avatar

they/them
if you're confused, you're correct

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I don't know that the canonical Bertie Wooster could be called "progressive" (or "politically engaged" or "aware of anything that's going on outside of his immediate sphere of acquaintances with funny nicknames") but you can't argue he wouldn't support gay marriage. Bertie Wooster neither likes nor understands straight marriage, but he fights for his friends who inexplicably want to do that.

And if you change your pronouns, Bertie Wooster will never fuck them up because he barely has room in his brain for one set of them per person. As soon as you tell him, the old ones just evaporate. He might ask Jeeves about it later, but it'd be to the tune of "I say, Jeeves, why didn't you tell me that Bingo was a woman this whole time? I've been calling her a bloke for years; she must think I'm a perfect ass."

To be clear, he doesn't understand that she transitioned. He thinks that she's always been a lady. He'd try to explain it to someone and accidentally be the most supportive ally.

an aunt, probably: What's all this nonsense about young Bingo, then? I hear he's gotten it into his head that he's a woman. Going about in dresses and such.

Bertie: Oh, I was confused as well, but it turned out to be rather a large misunderstanding. Bingo is a woman, always has been.

Aunt: That can't be right, Bertie; he was at Eton with you, you absolute chump.

Bertie: Well, yes. Some sort of scholarship program, perhaps? I'm fuzzy on the details. But she's very definitely a woman. She told me so herself, and I daresay she would know. Bit embarrassing for all of us, really; we mistook her for a bloke for years, the poor girl. She must have been too polite to say anything about it.

Aunt: But he's gone his whole life up until last week looking like a man! If he were a woman, why would he not present himself as such?

Bertie: There was a dress code. I don't know how many times I was told off for a scruffy tie.

Aunt: I don't mean at school, you dunce. Even if - and it's still nonsense, mind you - even if I were to accept that Eton somehow permitted this ridiculous state of affairs, what about afterwards?

Bertie: Oh, I haven't the foggiest. I've long since given up on explaining the fairer sex, as well you know.

Aunt: Bertram, he was christened 'Richard'.

Bertie: Yes, bit of an odd choice on her parents' part. I mean, you don't see many girls named Richard, what? I say, do you suppose that's why she goes by 'Bingo'? If I were a lady saddled with Bingo's Christian name, I should likely choose something else too.

Aunt: Have you spoken to Jeeves about all this?

Bertie: Naturally.

Aunt: And? What is his evaluation?

Bertie: He says that when a young lady asserts that she is, in fact, a lady, one ought to take her word for it.

Bertie: Very sensible, I thought. One can always trust Jeeves in these matters.

Bertie: Say, when's lunch?

Robot characters who are given names like SL-308-62 but instead of their human friend going Well let's call you Sally for short, they instead ask the other if they Like their current name.

"Do you like your serial number?" they ask. "Yes, quite. It reminds me of who I am" the robot replies. "I have heard others like me go by different names after some time, and maybe one day I'll choose one for myself, too. But right now that is my full name, yes" they continue.

Because it's not your decision to make whether or not the robot will receive a new name. It should be theirs only. What's the difference? One is more complex and the other is simplified. They were both given by strangers instead of themselves.

"62 will do," they conclude. "It's my model number - there will be no other 62 after me."

Robots who instead start assigning numbers to their human friends

“Not that I mind,” I tell SL-308-62 one afternoon as we enjoy our shared lunch break (I have my packed lunch, and 62 has connected themself to their portable power bank) “but why do your call me ‘four’?”

The LEDs along 62’s appendages twinkle- a tell that they’re mulling over an answer.

“It’s a nickname,” they explain, “you are my fourth acquaintance aboard the station, and I’ve assigned you a serial number. Your full designation is F-001-04.”

“What does the ‘F’ stand for?” I ask, curious and charmed.

“Friend,” SL-308-62 says, their tone fond. “It stands for friend.”

The Two Barrels Test

Orcs, when announcing their names and titles, sometimes list the time they took to finish the Two Barrels Test. It's something orc mothers brag about as well with their grown sons and daughters. As far as anyone can tell, the longer it takes to pass the test, the more proud you can be. For a long time, none of the other races can figure out what the Two Barrel Test is and assume it must have something to do with strength or battle prowess.

Then, one day, a human figures it out. They came across an orc passing from childhood to adulthood taking the test or they overheard enough to figure it out or something. And it becomes a joke. All the other races use it to mock orcs. Here they thought it was something hard and challenging and it turns out its just two identical barrels and the orc has to figure out which one is full of stones and which is full of feathers. Obviously, any intelligent race would realize you just walk over and push the barrel slightly and the weight difference would be immediately obvious.

Stupid orcs. Can't even figure out something that basic.

Except - that's kind of the point. Or the point everyone else misses. Because any fool can stroll over to a barrel and give it a nudge. The really clever orc, who wants to prove his cleverness, will sit at a distance and figure out a dozen other ways, without touching anything at all, to solve which barrel holds stones and which holds feathers. Its not about the solution and its never been about the solution. It's about the observations that get you to that solution.

When you're built like a hammer, the real talent is finding all the things that don't look like nails.

just wanted a visual demonstration since I was talking about how much I love them

Mules are like horses with the self destruct button removed

...do you mean the 'self preservation instinct' removed????

No, absolutely not. It’s the opposite. Mules will straight up refuse to do things if they don’t have the confidence that they can complete it. This is where the term “stubborn as a mule” comes from. A horse would attempt these feats and break its weak little ankles and roll over and kill its rider. Mules do this because they know they can. That’s also why mules and donkeys are used as mounts around the Grand Canyon, they’re both sure-footed and stubborn and will refuse to do things that put them and the rider in danger when a horse would listen to the call of the void and just do it. Donkeys are less domesticated than mules, less dependent on humans and more self-assured, this is why they can be harder to train but also why they have such great self-preservation skills. A mule inherits those traits from its father.

So that's where Skyrim horses get their ridiculous climbing abilities

carsen-daily:
“theshitpostcalligrapher:
“sixyearsofcollegedownthedrain:
“airspaniel:
“ drunkwario:
“ Anon hate from the late 1800’s.
”
What I love most about this is that this person was SO INCENSED at the recipient that they couldn’t even wait the...

Anon hate from the late 1800’s.

What I love most about this is that this person was SO INCENSED at the recipient that they couldn’t even wait the days/weeks it would take for the mail to go through. No, they had to say “FUCK YOU” as soon as fucking possible and, AND, let the recipient that they were not done with the fuck you, nay, this was merely the first volley in what would undoubtably be a dressing down of Biblical proportions.

i will gleefully reblog this every time i see it

oh hey its the post i based this off of

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Day 23 Celestial

the flesh is unwilling and honestly, the spirit isn't too keen on the idea either

artekka

I realized that some of recovering from depression is changing your perspective on things. So I made my very first two-sided embroidery!

(etsy)

That’s genius

theocseason4:
“this is great actually
”

I’m once again returning to do god’s work by bringing you delightful moments from Spock’s World by Diane Duane.

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There’s a Horta crewman on the Enterprise now and they’re great!

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Uhura continues to be a total badass and is amazing at what she does.

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The Enterprise has a dumpster fire chat room that has just as much shitposting and vitriol as twitter.

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Amanda and Sarek are as charming as ever.

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Just this.

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I love Savesh the Vulcan farmer!

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Vulcan wanting to leave the Federation because the ~vibes~ are off.

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I would give anything to hear Sarek do a perfect Texas accent.

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This dynamic is perfect, no notes.

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I really hope the TOS Enterprise has crew performances like on Next Gen. This kazoo band needs to be heard! Also, I can perfectly picture Spock’s annoyed-but-tolerant expression as he resigns himself to the kazoo serenade.

Thank you @dianeduane for making me laugh!

You’re welcome. 😊

In its way, it’s a serious book. But that never meant it had to be somber. …And in that one, as in all my other books, I made sure to enjoy myself. Because what’s the point otherwise? 😏

listen its been weeks and SEVERAL rewatches

and I STILL cannot get over the fucking beauty of the scene in nimona where the fire of her phoenix form LIGHTS up the hard light construct billboard screen thing depicting the tale of gloreth

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like the sun bleeding through stained glass, apotheosis and sacrifice uncontainable within the limits of the story she's been cast into

It's such an indescribably perfect moment of the visual language of this world married into the narrative I just

[internal screeching]

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working on some silly tlt memes for my friend's bday and I liked how this one came out 🥲

i have genuinely one of the weirdest skills to be able to brag about

i've caught five mice with my bare hands so far. like i've just frozen and pounced on them arms first like a cat. i dropped several of them immediately after my brain kicked in and realised i don't enjoy being bitten by mice but twice now i've just caught and successfully dispatched them after a prolonged moment of losing my shit while holding a mouse. like i joke privately about my beloved pet cat and family member kremen (rip) raising me better than my parents ever did but dude what the fuck. i just go into Predator Mode and pounce on these fucking mice. what the hell

this makes it funnier that when i was a kid i used to do co-op mouse hunting with our current (now old) cat snowbell. like he'd corner a mouse and i'd corner it too and wait until he moved into a good spot and i'd chase it out and he'd catch it. you guys fucking wish you were on the same level of warrior cats roleplay i was on. there is nothing wrong with me

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DON'T DO THIS TO ME

IMPORTANT

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